mandey's world

i just LOVE naps! A LOT! just woke up from an oh so sweet one and realized that i never got to my english homework i planned on doing early. Oh well, sometimes you have to sacrafice in order to get beauty sleep;) today in education class, we talked about guest speakers and how we can get interaction in our classes in the atmospheres we will be in. i have no clue what to do for my first generation students. but i did get some helpful hints from others and gave a few myself:) Got my lesson plan back and Janette LOVED my activity that i made. i call it the "balancing act" one of theses days, i have to present it to everyone b/c it's just that great! lol. Class ran over and i kept on looking at my watch and being antsy..i seriously wanted to get to general body meeting but no, everyone just kept on talking. finally got out of there and hurried over to the UC. as usual i missed all of the meeting for the most part. i got member of the month for E&A...yea..let megan hug me...i can make exceptions every once in a while...and yes, there are very few times that i don't mind a hug. i can be so fickle. well not really. so i might be getting my english paper back tomorrow...i really kinda hope so. i am so scared. but i have an appointment with the professor thursday b/c i am going to talk to her on my progress and all that fun stuff. Really don't need to be going through the same stuff over and over again. At least darcy was there this time! thanks hun! you're a true friend. well, tomorrow's the beginning of march, i need to go change the calendar for trinity. laters

wow..weekend's already gone!:( i really wish that they were longer! had some really good talks w/my momma last night and tonight. man i love her! and we were teasing each other..she says she won't be in lubbock for spring break so i was like..i guess what's the use in going if i don't see my momma..i'll just do homework all week in my room in trinity;) we are so funny sometimes.. talked to my kitty kat my mom keeps on saying that she's been eating too much and wobbles around the house..but the new puppy is helping her work out now;) i miss home for the loved ones that i miss..not really the place..who likes dust storms? urg...i can drive in them but they suck..i just miss my family and my pets...baby..aww.. he's really old and stubborn but i love him the same. only he can take a walk on his own around the neighborhood and come back at a certain time. well i got my confirmation email for my plane ticket for easter. yay! leaving early friday and getting back sunday night! don't know how we're getting to the airport and all though..i'm hoping zach is taking care of that..i don't think he wants to leave the car there for the weekend? but it is so awesome that we get to spend all easter day w/the family! we will go to easter Vigil as always...we do that every year now..and sarah will be there..and zach sarah and i will have our usual conversation while everyone is lighting candles and baptizing..haha.."you stink..go dunk yourself" lol..after 30 minutes of halleluja's(spelled wrong, i know) we get a little bored..lol well it's late and i AM getting 'special' i should go now..lol..night all!

caved in and went to the movie after all...it's no fun sitting at home when you could be elsewhere. and i've grown accustomed to that so yea. darcy and i went crazy..lol..julie thought we were a little off our rocker..she doesn't need to admit it b/c it was all in the face! darcy and i didn't see each other all day due to me working on my paper and yea, it was like we hadn't seen each other for yrs. lol. life aquatic was ok..i've already seen it so it was my second time to see it. all i have to say is "KITTY!" lol..inside joke btwn darcy and me. everyone else gets into the main part of an interview and we saw the kitty in the background and just were fascinated by it. hehe. last night was great...after a week of classes and work it was nice to sit back and enjoy life. went to preview day a tired and well medicated. several of us were..one of the girls had gone clubing last night and just kept on yawning and complaining..a few others were complaining that it was too early..fun times. well right now i officially have 2 people in my fig..kinda..still waitng for their paperwork to finish going through but yes! went shopping today and found a nice gift for my brother. and like the best birthday cards ever! got josh a funny sentimental card, and zach..that was the favorite part of my day..ok, i don't really cry when i'm wearing contacts b/c my eyes get dry...i was tearing up in the store. i decided on two cards and they are so sweet. i've only seen my brother cry a few times in my life but i think i may tempt him to add another public display of tears for his 23rd birthday. here's to you my big bro

well the weekend has started and i can not tell you how relieved i am. tomorrow's going to be an early one. i am going to be doing preview day for mav scholars..small paycheck! yes! lol..and while i am doing that, my room will be frequented by strangers. lol..earlier lauren called and asked if she could use our room for preview day. sweet. especially since i finally made my room as homely as i can get it for the rest of the semester. right now i am so burned out. too much stress and heartache was had this week. nothing can express how i am right now..burned out is an understatement...so i don't know if i'll go to the movie tonight...gotta make up my mind soon b/c it's 7. i've already seen life aquatic...blah. i am really looking forward to tomorrow afternoon hopefully. that is if i finally get to use the car. i am going to focus on an awesome card for both of my birthday brothers. i plan on if i have to go all over the place in order to find perfect cards. and then buy zach a present. josh's present will be the whole week of spring break. zach..i haven't figured out the present yet but the card will be the centerpoint of the gift. march 3rd and 5th are super awesome days! well i am gonna go...to a movie??ahh...night all

I really miss my little brother sooo much! you don't understand how much i long to hear his sarcastic voice crack a joke at me(which he can do quite well). there are many reasons why i feel this need to just let it out but mainly b/c his birthday is next week. i don't want to do anything on that day; seriously...if i didn't have to go to english and a meeting, then i would literally sit in my room all day waiting for 3 pm to roll around so i could call him and talk to him. This is his first birthday i won't be there for him. It's a really big deal b/c my mom and i were the one's always there to celebrate his birthday. i remember in the 9th grade, my mom pulled me out of school early to have our own little party for him, just the three of us. last year b/c i was going to TFA State on his birthday, the night before, i took him to eat and play...i let him stay up late (shh..don't let my momma know that;)) and then the next morning, i drove him to school and sat out there with him until he had to go in and told him how much i loved him. this year, i can only send wishes over the phone and by mail.:( i know sometimes i give him a hard time, but he's my saving grace. my angel sent down from heaven. i don't know what i'd be without him. he's my closest sibling and i am overly protective of him. when his dog died when he was 5 i seriously wanted to tell him that she was stolen b/c you could see the pain and it tore me up inside that i couldn't ease it one bit. gosh i love that little boy to death. Here's to you my little pest of a brother.

it's late and once again i can't sleep. i'm going to do the music thing but it will have to be the music on the "my station" on yahoo messenger b/c yea..have nothing on my playlists anymore..still reconstructing that stuff w/the new hard drive...this will be quite interesting b/c when i hear a song and have the slightest incling for it, i rate it and it stays there...who knows what will show up.

Instructions:Open up the music player on your computer.Set it to play your entire music collection.Hit the "shuffle" command.Tell us the title of the next twenty songs that show up (with their musicians) no matter how embarrassing.That's right, no skipping that Carpenters tune that will totally destroy your hip credibility. It's time for total musical honesty.If you get the same artist twice, you may skip the second (or third, or etc.) occurances.You don't have to do this, but since randomness could mean you end up with a list of ten song with five artists, you can if you'd like.

1. should've been a cowboy-Toby Keith
2.How do i live (extended mix)-Leann Rimes
3.Welcome to paradise-Green Day
4.The Reason- Hoobastank
5.A thousand miles-Vanessa Carlton
6.Austin- Blake Shelton
7.Kryptonite-3 doors down
8.Your Worthy of my Love-various..
9.Give us clean hands-Charmaine
10.99.9% sure(i've never been here before)-Brian McComas
11.Kiss me-Sixpence none the richer
12.Wide Open Spaces-Dixie Chicks
13.Sympathy-Goo Goo Dolls
14. Shout to the Lord-Sonic Flood
15. Tough little boys-Gary Allen
16. Stay gone-Jimmy wayne
17.Walk a little straighter-Billy Currington
18. 8th world wonder-Kimberley Locke
19Pure imagination-Maroon 5
20. I hope you dance-LeAnn Womack

and enlightenment followed soon afterwards..lol.. in english today we convinced the professor to go in depth on our paper..kind of as a punishment to those who didn't go to class b/c there were seriously only like 12 of us there. We discussed the topics and she gave us examples and i am not kidding, at the same exact moment all of us were like Ping! the lightbulb came on and it was great. i think i might actually have an idea of how to write my paper. and then we talked about the proper way to write papers in the world of english.. believe me, it is different from the crap they teach you in high school i am having a hard time w/the format. everyone is but i have it worst of all b/c i have had only less than a year to forget high school form while a few have had 2 yrs and some of them like 15 yrs..i envy them in some ways..but they are so fun to talk to. most of them that is. there's two ladies that sit next to me that i love talking to. they are so funny and we talk about their kids and their husbands. one of them, Deena, told me today that her husband will be happy when she gets her paper done b/c she's been staying up late working on it.awww..so cute! well tonight i was suppose to go buy my brothers' birthday presents but my brother didn't buy my 'i really need new shoes' bit. i think he had some kind of meeting..i will try tomorrow again..i have no idea what to get him. he doesn't like me to spend money on him. he found out how much his christmas gift was b/c he had to go exchange it and he nearly had a fit. i'm thinking Old Navy. he loves old navy. hmm..a shirt possibly.. and my little brother never cares what i get him just that i'm there..since i won't be, i'm thinking of sending him a video over the internet or something. and get him something of course...now if i only knew WHERE old navy was...i know where many places are but old navy? no. anyone know?

oh wow. things are getting a little crazy around here. just a little. or is it just me? hehe. so last night was stressing for me and after crying and consoling from my mom(gosh i love her) i decided that i need to drop one of my classes. i know everyone is like why was that such a big deal. well i like many 'millenials' work to please everyone...millenials is what my generation is called. if you are 0-22 yrs old you are included in this generation..one big thing we do is attempt to please everyone..which i do way too much. i really didn't want to let my parents down and i told my mom that. and get this...she said it was ok and she said the "A" word. yes. my mom called me an Adult! said that in 10 months i will be 20. that i can make my own choices. she even told me things were ok and that i could just take some summer classes at Tech to make up for the hrs i'll be losing. hehe..now she can't claim that her children went everywhere but Tech! that made me smile:) people can really suprise you sometimes. my mom being one that suprised me last night. sometimes it's something big like that and sometimes it's as simple as buying your smoothie for you and refusing to take money from you later to pay back;) (Kean, youre awesome) random acts of kindness:) well weekend was good..another week ahead..thanks 301 once again:) Great friends, good times, new memories...fun times..well night all!

it's sunday and i really don't feel like doing anything. i knowthat i'm lazy but i don't care. yesterday i was somewhat productive..more so than today..ha. well i'm watching garden state right now..loving it! and no i have not fallen asleep..earlier this week i was REALLY tired when i fell asleep. i am loving garden state movie as much as the soundtrack;) well gonna go but here's a very awesome and VERY true quote that i have learned to believe in recently.....

"A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same." -Elbert Hubbard

YAY for weekends! this week went by oh so slow. but then what did i do on my first day of the weekend? slept..lol..yea..after i went to class i spent all day in my room napping..it was nice:) and then went and saw Hitch. That movie is sooooo cute! and yes, really funny! the rest of my weekend believe it or not is mostly doing homework. but if i don't get to it all, i won't go balistic. So long as i get my lesson plan done and study trig i will be satisfied. oh yea and brainstorm for english paper. really big paper. 4-5 pgs to be exact. if i don't get it all done, i am hoping to get it done before my friday 5pm deadline so i can revise and maybe have the professor take a look at it;). yea, we have class thursday but our deadline is friday 5pm and we can submit via email. like that doesn't entice my procrastination gene? lol. but i am telling myself that it is due thursday:). new tactic of mine. now if it'll work, that's a whole different subject. Had one of my 3am heart to hearts w/my momma yesterday. those are so great. i am a middle child in a somewhat big family so anytime when i can get the full attention of my mom w/out interruptions are great and i've found that the wee hours when neither of us can sleep are the best times. love her so much. i miss EVERYONe of course. it's that whole missing some of the little things kind of feeling. like for instance my little brother's program for school. his first non christmas one. there are no pictures; all i can do is imagine it. and my grandparents. yes, i do miss them. my mom told me that my Poppy (mom's dad) who can never compliment anyone in particular me, said how proud he was of me. you don't know how weird that felt. well best be getting back to lesson plans..laters

each and every day i am amazed by my awesome friends..every single one of yal! no matter where we hangout or how we met. that made no sense but the bottom line is that yal are GREAT. justin loyd is so awesome..thanks to him..i know he was doing his 'ra' duty but told me as a friend and consoled me as much as he could. I'm not gonna name everyone..you all know who you are. but darcy. yes darcy. YOU ARE AWESOME. that whole call me anytime even if it's in the middle of the night thing...yea..you so made that ring true. i can't stop thanking you for all you do. :) ok...i am gonna look at today as positive as i can and of course smile as much as i can for the mere fact that i have really great friends that care about me and i them. have a great day!

well today was fashion show and i will be the first to admit that i overstressed that whole thing. sorry guys/gals. fun times to be had in the office as usual...awkwardness. death to megan r. lol..j/k but thankyou to those who respect my boundries. really. wow..really random memory flash..sitting in a chair for 2 hrs getting my hair done before my quincenerra. lol..that was a stressful day! it all started w/dress falling off of shoulders and well everywhere..sure mom did a job w/safety pins but it just went downhill from there. don't ask me why i decided to talk about that...i just got this random memory flashes of the quincenerras...they were all interesting...umm.. a girl i went to school w/forever..her quince was a step in life for me..yea, i actually picked my escort for that one and yea... really awkward moments there and so i got a lesson in 'Love' that week. aww...yea..
~~~edit~~well some people in hall council are really done for. no joke. there's only like 3 reliable people that show up on time. christy is so stressed out and i feel so bad for her. needless to say a very short and badly attended meeting tonight..afterwards i had a little powwow w/her and justin and talked about some things that have been bothering us. it was great...well not much to say except meds are great! lol..:) night all

i have got to be overdoing something...who knows...tomorrow is gonna be an awesome day..not a lot going on...today was..well today. one nice highlight was the fact that no one felt lowly in english. oh yea, and yay, we convinced her to actually start discussing our next assignment so that no one goes crazy doing it. apparently i'm not the only one that flips out everytime a paper is due. that's somewhat reassuring. insomniac buddies: sorry. sleep has been coming way too easily for me. i hope you'll understand and forgive:). well sarah's planning on coming for zach's birthday in like 2 weeks and we are going to work together on planning an awesome birthday suprise for him. she really wants me to like her. she tries way hard. the thing is: she doesn't have to b/c i already luv her to death. she's been around our family so long that she's already part of it. sarah brings out the good in zach and i can't picture life w/out her around. she's so sweet and nice. Today i received my valentine's present from her. a really cute cat and a card. i can't wait to call her my sister but of course we've got to wait for my 'lovely' brother to pop the question;) well...i am very uneventful..laters

yay for singles awareness day! uh..right. oh wow, my mom is like the greatest. usually she buys me something like a bear or a heart..you know...something. well she called me and told me that she put money in my account b/c it was better than having to wait for something to come in the mail. aw..luv her. talked to my little brother via her. he got a stomach ache. poor child! but he was telling me how I have a valentine. serious. sometimes i think my brothers want me to date. they create boyfriends out of the blue. i seriously have to sit down and say, "ok, can you introduce me to this guy that i am 'involved' with?" lol. love my bros, don't get me wrong. sometimes they are just ...pressuring. ~~~~anywho, i think i should warn b/c i think i upset some people today...warning: i am not and don't know when i will be in a 'huggy' mood. don't be offended, it's nothing personal. so yea. nice short post. later all

so sad...lack of participation people! lol..no one replied to my little thing about a memory good or bad that you have of me. oh wells. i guess i can forgive;) lol..well went to the retreat for PCs and orientation leaders.. great times. and no i didn't get squirted w/water, thank goodness. i was able to bipass any ostrasizing. people in my class, yea, we were already kinda close but we got even closer yesterday night when it was really just us. oh yea, our generation is known as the millinials. found out that we will forever need counciling, and that yes, a characteristic we have is that we are 'special' . lol.. at one point of the retreat, i was able to meet with my Staff member who is connected through the SOAR program and as we talked i became more excited about next year. it will be a lot of work, but looking at the prospective end result, i honestly think it'll be so worth it. i am going to have to get over my fear of being in front of a camara. one of the things for my class will be that there will be a continual camara on them and me. everything will be documented all through the first semester and most of second semester. see, i will be teaching first generation students, and during the second semester, my class will actually take a film class together and cut the documentary and then we will go present it to high school students and kind of recruit for uta. it's kinda complicated but the bottom line is that it's going to be FUN! ~~

last night i finally slept...really a dead sleep. i closed my eyes and woke up to one of the girls' alarms. kinda happy about that but i am still supper tired. glad to be back but it was so beautiful out there especially today b/c it got warm and clear. awww..such a great view. wish i could have stayed longer but then i think about the food and i'm ok.. lol. the stuff they served us was all very questionable and our stomachs started acting weird and still are a little off balance.. well as much as i love recounting my life, i know that i am rambling too much for everyone.

"Do you think we are ADD?"
"no; why do you ask?"
"because in the past 15 minutes we've played operation, cards, jenga, fooseball and pool, got too bored at each never finishing one and now we're bored again." lol.

lol..today..well yesterday was blue and white bash..it was a lot of work.. but that was all crazy fun. and when it was all done, all we could do was look at each other and laugh..no not b/c anything was actually funny but from tiredness and then we all headed over to IHOP. there were several uta people there from the bash..as we walked in we were like "yea, they can pay our bill." yea..;) right now i want to take this time to say i am sorry for any negativity i had today, well friday. just wasn't the greatest of times..this week just wasn't the greatest of times. won't go into detail but darcy, thanks. ~~~~so megan attempts to persuade me to ride the bull...i finally concede when there is a small bargaining involved...so we're waiting in line and there's like 3 other people ahead of us...and then the bull breaks. ok, i don't know about anyone else, but i was relieved! lol. gosh darn..why did the bull have to break?;p

ok well i have like an hr. before i have to get into the car and go to a retreat so i am gonna go clean up..but first, i promised miss Marnee lane that i would post this and yes, EVERYONE i would love it if you would reply to it..if you want to be descriptive, you may:
If you read thisYou must post a memory of me.It can be anything you want,it can be good or bad.Just so long as it happened.Then post this to your journal,and see what people remember about you ..

well i think i've done all i can do for astronomy...taking a break before i attempt trig again. took the purity test..not saying which one of course but got a umm...yea..97%. i know. yea..so then i took the virgin purity test...72%. from what i hear that's still really high. i know..i'm hopeless..megan fears that everytime she talks to me she is corrupting me..riiighht..those tests are pretty interesting..but i didn't know half the stuff on there, so yea... but tonight as i decided not to study for a bit while i took a break, i took the nice purity test..ha! first time i think i got a 76%...went back and took it again b/c i knew w/my oh so great stigmatism i had to have missed something...61%..not as nice as everyone things i am??? i took another random test that i will not give the name to but i got 26% purity on it..go figure..didn't think i was THAT bad off on that section but guess so. well tons of crap flying through my head..earlier i managed to study while i napped..don't know how that worked out but i am not kidding...i did astronomy in my sleep, literally. formulas, schedules, events, discussions, faces..everything is just coming and going. do you ever feel like crawling into a corner and staying there? i know i sure do but then i fear that everything will just work double time on me and then...yea. well we had our fire drill tonight..here's a random quote..."this was just a drill, Had it been a real fire alarm drill then you would have stood outside for an hour waiting for us" lol..i made that one up..i think lauren heard me...lol. well i'm out....

work! yes it's fun! lol..well english class was um..interesting..know you shouldn't constantly check the time, but yea, i think marykate will agree that it was necessary. i felt so bad for one of the girls but it was a continual build that she somewhat has been bringing on herself for at least a week. long story short, profs. hate it when you attempt to prove other than what they say is right. oh wells..

decorated for blue andwhite bash...tedious stuff;) the cards: i actually found joy in doing the system i had set out! i guess it's the orderly person in me? anyways i don't care how crazy everyone thought it was b/c i enjoyed it! then did sulifane(i know it has got to be spelled wrong-so sue me!) . boy that was a Long process. but then did have a short break to go to E&A meeting. oh and moving the dice decorations from the bluebonnet to the palo duro. that was fun..really got to talk to PK about some things that we normally wouldn't talk about. really nice change. well tomorrow's the big night and i have 2 midterms tomorrow so i am gonna go study hard! laters. oh gotta leave ya w/this image: Aaron hitting the window attempting to smack some bug.."die..die" "Hun, it's outside! " lol.. that was so great. darcy and i couldn't help but laugh hysterically!

You've got to stake out your spot and not let anyone push you around. it's every person for themselves and you have to stalk the washers and dryers and once you have one, don't let it go until you are done b/c then you'll be lucky if you get back in the game within an hr. lol..this seems to be the motto of free laundry day..the housing office does free laudry day during 'Kindness' week...sure yea, college students are going to be nice when it comes to free cleaning? riigghhtt and pigs have wings..lol. if your things are left idle in a washer or dryer for more than 2 minutes, chances are they will end up in the growing pile of unclaimed clothes on the table;).. doing my laundry right now and yes i am playing by the rules;) it's good to make friends of fellow laundry people b/c they gripe out anyone who tries to touch your stuff..a guy i knew for like 30 minutes, staked out a dryer for me and wouldn't let anyone else have it! lol.

well i feel better today just for those of you who follow my blog. i even felt like dressing up today! very odd thing for me to do in the middle of the week;). gosh, lots of fun in education class..we bond very well and have very interesting discussions. we did a passion activity today where you share two passions you have. it was very interesting finding out peoples passions..we know each other fairly well and it was a nice change. well i have a meeting to get to..until another day.

or is it too hot? bleh.. woke up not feeling well. maybe that's why i fell asleep so easily last night? went to class and made it through both of them..went to the office and PK almost made me go home..i begged to stay. i know i don't want to get anyone sick so i promised that i would go home after L&D..missed the CT meeting but i figured i would be walking a thin line attempting to stick around longer...bowl of soup and a nap later, i felt a bit worse but brandi came in a bit ago w/tyanol and i am already feeling better. suitemates are awesome! last night i had some pretty weirded out dreams..i had rehashed some old memories and wow...don't do that often and yea, now i know why...anywho, i just realized that i have a reflections paper due tomorrow..ouch..yea..it totally flew over me..didn't remember that whole thing...so i guess i better go take a look at whati should do..laters.

wow...long days make me tired...i think i may even go to bed before 2am...didn't get much homework done tonight..that's ok though...i am more than certain that english, we will not get to the part i haven't read...it's not a lot. today was day 3 in the same exact lecture in astronomy. serious. same lecture word for word...i even got there like 15 minutes late...yep.

well i have my info to sign up for my room tomorrow night...i will live on the 3rd floor of kc b/c that is the section for the learning community i will be working with. i found out that i will NOT be rooming w/any of my students thank goodness! i more than likely will not room w/freshmen.. they will try..but for sure none of my students...yay! well today we went and left flyers at apts. that was fun..ignacio and i really got to talk today..that was fun. and no i have not crossed over to the 'dark' side as marykate claims. we just found common ground and had a good time building on it and having a meaningful chat.

Yay for groceries! my 'loving' brother let me use the car and i finally have some more food...i really shouldn't have gotten more cheese but who cares;). lol. random quote of the night..it's like the curve balls life throws at ya that makes the game interesting...-Me

ok..i have to put this 'blackmail' pic of my loving little brother on here. luv him bunches.. miss him tons especially his sarcasm! lol 

ok..i think i really need to take some anger management classes. or something. learn how to deal w/this kind of crap effectively. it mustn't be good to always relieve myself of anger through rants to friends. thankyou to all that do support me. yal are a great therapy. i will try. i promise i will try to manage my anger better. it's just sometimes i get to the point i just can't hold it in anylonger. thanks again.

yay...we have water! lol. came home to find thankfully that the water was back on. as i walked home i was like, "please be on; please be on" i really wanted to take a shower before bogging down on some homework which i should have done more of. oh wells...i still have most of tomorrow to do that, kinda. it'll get done sometime before the weekend is finished...does anyone else feel as though weekends are way too short? it just feels as though the weekend has begun and i can already see monday. blah! yesterday was full of fun;) camp EXCEL, dinner, setting up, my whole leg going to sleep and me limping to the restroom w/darcy laugh her head off at me. lol..good card fun. i really do think i finally figured out texas hold-um. i won 2 hands out of all of it but hey that's an improvement for me in any game of cards. more card fun carried on over at 301. btw, all of you girls are SOOO awesome!laters everyone.

well one good night of real sleep! yes, tuesday night i was out by midnight. that felt oh so good. and last night? back to my great pattern of sleeplessness. my mom, the great insomniac herself, even fell asleep on me. how lame is that? yes, i called my mom at 4 am and talked til almost five when she informed me that she was falling asleep. what fun. lol...

well, everyone should be proud of me! yesterday i actually did my english homework and had all of it done before 9. something i had no concept of until yesterday. it felt great. english today there were several people missing..the flu is really getting around..i hope i'm not next! i hate being sick. but out of everyone that was there, i was the only one who did my reading. serious. everyone did the last assignment but didn't do the last 30 some odd pgs. so when we discussed, everyone kept to the first 20 pgs. i asked one question about what no one had no clue of that impressed the professor. i think as i get to know the people in my class more, i am feeling more comfortable and not so negative. i see people in my class all over campus all the time and we talk. of course the age factor is always there, but we're learning to go past it. sometimes of course like one of the movie analogies the professor gave today in order to get a concept across went way over my head and apparently only MY head;) but i love english and the class is becoming interesting and we are all struggling together. it's great.

throwing beads into trees can be stress relieving! ;) oh yes and the T.P. fairy visited suite 103 last night! thanks T.P. Fairy! lol..wow. this is way to long..sorry. i didn't mean for it to be. well i better go do some stuff before i head over to KC to meet w/next yr's learning community.

part of my body says defeat but another part of me actually says that i need to do Homework. because of this fight, i can do neither. Yes, you do see the right time post...it's only 9pm. but i stayed up almost all night last night..took a short nap if you wanna call it that and i've been going all day. burst of energy came at 8:30 in the am when i received an email from my english prof. that we would not have class but just turn in papers. sad that she's still sick but overjoyed not to sit through a lecture. but errands all day, and coffee house was a success! at least i thought so but that's just little ole me.

ok, well i've been arguing for weeks on end w/Ignacio on something, and this is my journal ..who cares who reads this right? ok here's my thing with best friends. i don't believe in them. The term is way too overused. I prefer "close" friends. Maybe i am not as optimistic as most, but i have my reasons. How can you call someone your best friend? i just don't get it. maybe it's the past playing into my pestimestic(sp?) ideas. all i know is that i have a track record that speaks for itself. The longest i ever had a "best" friend was a yr and i guess half before it got screwed out of wack. time after time again-so don't hate me for not jumping for joy at the thought of best friends. i accept close friends. yes..it takes a bit for me to even warm up to anyone let alone confide in anyone. right now there are a couple i actually confide it totally and that's awesome..i guess i hate that label. best friend? what does it mean? seriously. i will as jen told me, be a little more open, but...wow, i am becoming delusional again...too little sleep...i will just leave it there; i just had to get some of it out. night