mandey's world

so i am begining to wonder about myself. i'm supposed to be a role model to my brother, cousin and a number of freshmen but am i really? i don't feel like i am in any way. i feel like i fall utterly short on that part. you're not supposed to give into peer pressure. When i tell my cousin something is stupid and she shouldn't be doing it and then i turn around a few days later and consider doing the one thing i told her was dumb. hypocritical. At least i haven't followed through b/c i have some great friends who noticed my weakness and became my strength. sometimes i wonder how my life would have been had i not been so 'responsible' and had been quite a bit more 'social' and apt to trying things throughout high school and even into college. Could i be happier? livelier? i guess i'll never know b/c i am follow the rules mandey who does very few illegal things. let's see how times change.