so i've started the whole packing thing and it is sad and impossible. i have more stuff than when i made that long drive in august. my room is quickly becoming bare and full of bags and boxes and when i go to sleep at night i no longer see my decorated walls but solid white brick walls.
i lay there hoping that it's all a dream and that it's still january but no matter how much i attempt to turn the clock back 4 months it isn't working. in 4 days my mom will be here and by next monday i will be in lubbock. No late night walks until i decide that it's time to turn around. no random coversations in the EXCEL office. and most of all, i don't get to see UTA friends. may 15-August 14. how am i gonna do this? i know i'll be back in like a month for a few days but that doesn't seem so um..satisfying. i know i should be happy to go home and see family and old friends. i guess i am in a sense, but having to leave one life and go back to another just doesn't seem right. i'll be where i learned to ride my first bike, where i learned to drive, where well a lot of my firsts happened and many memories made but i don't think i'll ever really be there fully again. not the way i used to. my room won't even be the same. i don't even have the same bed. the walls are a new color and the dates i etched into the trim and hidden parts of the walls have been sanded off and painted over with new paint. a lot has happened since that august day when i moved in. i've gone through a lot and met some really awesome people that have been there for me. The friends i've made; the things i've done. i would have never imagined it. if me a year ago were to meet me now, i'd be a total stranger staring at myself.
i guess what i'm trying to get at is...wow. i have no idea what i'm getting at..i'm just upset with it being may already and the whole moving thing. i know i'll be back and all but still...this school year's been great. so i will go home and spend some time with the family. take my brother to his summer stuff: karate, basketball, and swimming. and spoil my cat and in august after my older brother has thrown his hat in the air and the comencement ceremony is said and done i will take all my stuff and decorate that new room on the 3rd floor of KC and get ready for a new school year. sorry for this long post. as you can see it's like one in the morning...
i lay there hoping that it's all a dream and that it's still january but no matter how much i attempt to turn the clock back 4 months it isn't working. in 4 days my mom will be here and by next monday i will be in lubbock. No late night walks until i decide that it's time to turn around. no random coversations in the EXCEL office. and most of all, i don't get to see UTA friends. may 15-August 14. how am i gonna do this? i know i'll be back in like a month for a few days but that doesn't seem so um..satisfying. i know i should be happy to go home and see family and old friends. i guess i am in a sense, but having to leave one life and go back to another just doesn't seem right. i'll be where i learned to ride my first bike, where i learned to drive, where well a lot of my firsts happened and many memories made but i don't think i'll ever really be there fully again. not the way i used to. my room won't even be the same. i don't even have the same bed. the walls are a new color and the dates i etched into the trim and hidden parts of the walls have been sanded off and painted over with new paint. a lot has happened since that august day when i moved in. i've gone through a lot and met some really awesome people that have been there for me. The friends i've made; the things i've done. i would have never imagined it. if me a year ago were to meet me now, i'd be a total stranger staring at myself.
i guess what i'm trying to get at is...wow. i have no idea what i'm getting at..i'm just upset with it being may already and the whole moving thing. i know i'll be back and all but still...this school year's been great. so i will go home and spend some time with the family. take my brother to his summer stuff: karate, basketball, and swimming. and spoil my cat and in august after my older brother has thrown his hat in the air and the comencement ceremony is said and done i will take all my stuff and decorate that new room on the 3rd floor of KC and get ready for a new school year. sorry for this long post. as you can see it's like one in the morning...
