« Home | SyKeD » | here's to long weeks...to stress...to the world...... » | so today i realized that i've been MIA for a while... » | today reminded me of what my mom always tells me..... » | FYI: sleep is overrated » | Updating » | Quotable » | mellow yellow » | oh wow. had a great night. it was a night of fir... » | Check this out » 

Thursday, May 05, 2005 

gahhhh...this paper sucks..i know i know..'you're procrastinating mandey' whatever...i have a block..i don't know what to write...and sadly i am not even a pg into the paper. i have my works cited pretty much ok if that counts for anything. wait, hey it does! 7 pgs + works cited pg= 8pg paper! one pg down 7 more to go? blah!

possible ways to get an extention:
possible solution#1: world end..just end! no need for an extention!
possible solution #2: natural disaster-would have to be like tornado (i know it's bad to wish that)
possible solution#3: oh i'm out of solutions...if there were a fire or anything like that..national disaster, we'd just have to email them in...would buy me a little bit of time...but not enough.

as you can tell, i lost my sanity HOURS ago. why am i so critical of everything?
once upon a time there was a girl who could do things moderately ok. she had one fault: perfectionism. yes, it's a fault. it led her to obtain the horrid quality of being a procrastinator because it haunted her not to have things completely in order. if she did things ahead of time it was because they were uniform type stuff. things that no one could screw up. like red goes in the red pile. but when it came to writing assignments, she was horrible at them. The sad thing is that she loved to write. She always had a knack for it but the perfectionist in her kept her from being a prolific writer. she feared rejection and failure. everytime a paper was to be written she waited til the last possible moment to write them because she couldn't get her ideas out. She went through school this way. She survived high school in this manner. Research papers and all. No one understood her and very few picked up on the fact that her work was all done last minute because they thought it was good writing. it wasn't until she was 17 that someone picked up on the fact that she went through ordeals in her writing process. This person saw much of herself in the girl so offered help in different techniques. Although the intentions were good nothing could really help. Things were crazy. The young girl would write whole papers and then delete them in their entirity before a living soul could glance at them and start from scratch once again. She continued to do this continually until she became such a procrastinator that she had no time to erase and start from scratch again. Whether the procrastinating tactic helped her or not has not been apparent. now she continues to beat herself on the head as she writes. you may say well once the classes are done, she'll be fine but what you don't know is that this girl not only wants to teach but desires to teach the very thing that haunts her continually...