mandey's world

well it's been a while...and just updating to let everyone know that i'm still breathing...somewhat;) things have settled down quite a bit...i finally signed up for my summer classes that i'll be taking in july...a history and a psychology class...i'm kind of looking forward to the psych. class...it's over human growth and development...fun stuff...i had considered general psychology but considering i've already taken that class in high school from the famous mr. jama, i thought i'd get a little more intensive look at this part of psychology. (ok...boring you)

ok, picture this: next week, this time, i will not be sitting in lubbock, Texas...nope! i'll be in arlington! how sweet is that? i was talking on the phone to a friend earlier and she reminded me and i was like WOW. it's seems like last week was forever ago. but no..it was the same amount of time..how much of a difference a week can make!

today i learned the difference a drop of rain can make...it rained like crazy most of the night and we had tornado warnings...know where iwas during the warning that was for lubbock? almost the whole time i was sitting in the living room where we have almost ceiling to floor windows all around..ha. me and my 'tornado safety' is quite laughable. i got too bored in the center of the house..i'm sorry but sitting in a restroom with no nothing for an hour doesn't seem all that thrilling to me. and then oh the weather people here...gosh...you'd think the sky was falling the way they covered everything...i missed my Law and order:( b/c of them.

well unless something completely out of the blue happens i won't post til next week...gonna be doing chores and stuff all week and then having a little break with a girl's night saturday...here's some interesting quotes to ponder...

"Thought, like all potent weapons, is exceedingly dangerous if mishandled. Clear thinking is therefore desirable not only in order to develop the full potentialities of the mind, but also to avoid disaster." -Giles St. Aubyn

"What a peculiar privilege has this little agitation of the brain which we call 'thought'." -Hume

"Thinking: The talking of the soul with itself." -Plato

some very awesome news...first off...yesterday afternoon, i bought my plane ticket..that's right! in two weeks from tonight i will be in arlington! so sweet! i will go to the airport tuesday afternoon before my momma needs to get ready for work, and will be in dallas before 6! oh yea! and then will leave saturday:( but still...time in arlington!

secondly, after becoming such a pain to Jeff and other PC's b/c i've been so anal about not knowing if my class made or not, i got the fateful email today.:) it had almost all the information i needed. MY CLASS MADE! i have 7 students and i think they're all girls. not sure on one of them though...either way, it's great! wondering if any of them are going to be roommates...it would make my lesson plan for roommate issues have to be modified;). Only info i need is FIG coordinator stuff...fun fun..

also got my itenerary for the orientation and let's just say that it is muy bueno! so as you can tell i am so overjoyed about this stuff. today i got out my notebook and started looking through my lesson plans and what not. This experience is going to help more than any of yal can imagine. i know i am taking on a lot, but hey, i do need to sharpen the time management thing..what better way to do it than this fall and everything entailed with it...my classes (14hrs-18), hw:P, teaching, co-curricular's for the class, monitoring their tutoring sessions once a week, mentoring, and of course excel:) somewhere in there i might have a social life maybe a weekend or two...possibly..but ok..i talked, you read, post over.

sorry everyone..real update will come sometime..just a quote here and there...i just love finding different quotes and pondering over them...enjoy

"You can mess with my mind and you can mess with me, but you WILL NOT mess with my friends!"-anon

"Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality."-Jules de Gaultier

"We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another."-Luciano de Crescenzo

"When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants, and murderers, and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall. Think of it... always."-Mahatma Gandhi

things aren't quite different..everything is just as it was before...since this is so short, i'll leave you with a few quotes to last you for a few days maybe a week or so..who knows

"Perhaps even these things, one day, will be pleasing to remember."
-Virgil, Aenid

"They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel."
Carl W. Buechner

it's funny how times change..today i was organizing my room. no not unpacking yet. i still have to put things that are suppose to be there like storage stuff b/c my parents had my room painted. i had to go through boxes and what not. wow. i found a box full of my books that i used to read over and over again as a kid and found the little slips i built into them when i used to play school and library. i used to have my dolls 'check' out books and then read the books to them. i know: really dorky. then i found one of the spirals. for some reason in jr. high it became cool to use a spiral to send notes with friends b/c there'd be no loose paper. oh boy, was i such a nerd. the thing i couldn't detach myself from were my english binders. the sad thing is that almost every year, i sit and do this. i read through them and look at my writing styles. but usually i just look back one year. this time i went back...oh..5 years. yea. i enjoyed it so much. seeing how my writing has changed and the things that i thought were absolute truths then..yea, can easily prove them wrong now. found a few of my lost poems..i think they were meant to stay lost. after going through all of that, i went back to my final paper of this semester..yes! it was waiting for me when i got to lubbock;) and read through it. i am so freaking proud of myself. granted, i know it wasn't as grand as other people's papers but it was from me. just me. i did it and by looking at my progress as a writer and seeing this paper that is part of my english major class. oh wow. ok..well it's getting late..i am rambling and i have to get up at 7am to take my little bro to school..oh how i love being able to drive!

it's official. it's been official for almost 48 hrs really. my freshmen year is done. i took 20 minutes, if you count the walking to the office afterwards to take my astronomy final. i was pumped and then took my time. gotta give that man credit; he at least moved the answers around. i feel so good about that final. i stayed up all night studying and was whizzing through the reviews like nobody's business. of course justin had a laugh when he walked by and saw me jamming out to barlow girl and talking out loud to myself but hey, it kept me up and going. my grade will speak for itself! then hours in the office with the random talks and then graffiti (SP?) on the table. finally came home and slept. oh yea.. like 5 hrs straight. heck yea. then began the long goodbyes. some people, i will see in a month and others, i will be lucky if i see them in 4 months...is it bad that i hope their plans fall through and they'll be here? i know...bad me. bad me.

packing..oh what fun. been kind of doing it all week but today was hardcore packing. really fun..uh not! oh and this afternoon/evening, i think the RA just had fun watching me come and go. left for the pool party; came back, then left for brazos, then back, then gone again. fun exercise you know;) really.

i will be in lubbock by monday..monday...i still don't think it's completely set in. but when i get there i will be awaiting the 'call' or possibly 'email' telling me where i will be in the fall. i mean in the teaching circumstance. May 15th. the magic day. That is the day that the big people will look at my class size and decide if Emerging Scholars FIG will make. If it doesn't than i won't have my own fig. i really do hope it makes! well..it's late and the Mom is coming at i don't know what time..better get some sleep.

so i've started the whole packing thing and it is sad and impossible. i have more stuff than when i made that long drive in august. my room is quickly becoming bare and full of bags and boxes and when i go to sleep at night i no longer see my decorated walls but solid white brick walls.

i lay there hoping that it's all a dream and that it's still january but no matter how much i attempt to turn the clock back 4 months it isn't working. in 4 days my mom will be here and by next monday i will be in lubbock. No late night walks until i decide that it's time to turn around. no random coversations in the EXCEL office. and most of all, i don't get to see UTA friends. may 15-August 14. how am i gonna do this? i know i'll be back in like a month for a few days but that doesn't seem so um..satisfying. i know i should be happy to go home and see family and old friends. i guess i am in a sense, but having to leave one life and go back to another just doesn't seem right. i'll be where i learned to ride my first bike, where i learned to drive, where well a lot of my firsts happened and many memories made but i don't think i'll ever really be there fully again. not the way i used to. my room won't even be the same. i don't even have the same bed. the walls are a new color and the dates i etched into the trim and hidden parts of the walls have been sanded off and painted over with new paint. a lot has happened since that august day when i moved in. i've gone through a lot and met some really awesome people that have been there for me. The friends i've made; the things i've done. i would have never imagined it. if me a year ago were to meet me now, i'd be a total stranger staring at myself.

i guess what i'm trying to get at is...wow. i have no idea what i'm getting at..i'm just upset with it being may already and the whole moving thing. i know i'll be back and all but still...this school year's been great. so i will go home and spend some time with the family. take my brother to his summer stuff: karate, basketball, and swimming. and spoil my cat and in august after my older brother has thrown his hat in the air and the comencement ceremony is said and done i will take all my stuff and decorate that new room on the 3rd floor of KC and get ready for a new school year. sorry for this long post. as you can see it's like one in the morning...

D really stands for Defeat and doom...just got home from the worst form of torture EVER! trig final...i just wanted to crawl into a corner when that test landed on my desk but of course couldn't b/c there was a full room of people. now that i'm in my room i could do that if my room wasn't such a mess. i spent like an hour staring at the same proofs and could not get any of the answers provided.blahhhh...but i did find out that 60 is passing. if i get that grade that is. gpa will suffer..life will suffer. i've never gotten a D before...got one C before and it hurt. but i dont want a C. i want the D or i guess the F so i can go back next semester and shoot for an A with someone who's not a grad student.

i have the rest of the day to clean up my mess..don't know how that's gonna happen though..dumb change machine doesn't want to take my $10 so i can do laundry. then ra/oa/hall council banquet tonight. free food...oh gosh...dang..anyone have christmas lights just laying around that i could borrow for the next 24 hrs? blah!

gahhhh...this paper sucks..i know i know..'you're procrastinating mandey' whatever...i have a block..i don't know what to write...and sadly i am not even a pg into the paper. i have my works cited pretty much ok if that counts for anything. wait, hey it does! 7 pgs + works cited pg= 8pg paper! one pg down 7 more to go? blah!

possible ways to get an extention:
possible solution#1: world end..just end! no need for an extention!
possible solution #2: natural disaster-would have to be like tornado (i know it's bad to wish that)
possible solution#3: oh i'm out of solutions...if there were a fire or anything like that..national disaster, we'd just have to email them in...would buy me a little bit of time...but not enough.

as you can tell, i lost my sanity HOURS ago. why am i so critical of everything?
once upon a time there was a girl who could do things moderately ok. she had one fault: perfectionism. yes, it's a fault. it led her to obtain the horrid quality of being a procrastinator because it haunted her not to have things completely in order. if she did things ahead of time it was because they were uniform type stuff. things that no one could screw up. like red goes in the red pile. but when it came to writing assignments, she was horrible at them. The sad thing is that she loved to write. She always had a knack for it but the perfectionist in her kept her from being a prolific writer. she feared rejection and failure. everytime a paper was to be written she waited til the last possible moment to write them because she couldn't get her ideas out. She went through school this way. She survived high school in this manner. Research papers and all. No one understood her and very few picked up on the fact that her work was all done last minute because they thought it was good writing. it wasn't until she was 17 that someone picked up on the fact that she went through ordeals in her writing process. This person saw much of herself in the girl so offered help in different techniques. Although the intentions were good nothing could really help. Things were crazy. The young girl would write whole papers and then delete them in their entirity before a living soul could glance at them and start from scratch once again. She continued to do this continually until she became such a procrastinator that she had no time to erase and start from scratch again. Whether the procrastinating tactic helped her or not has not been apparent. now she continues to beat herself on the head as she writes. you may say well once the classes are done, she'll be fine but what you don't know is that this girl not only wants to teach but desires to teach the very thing that haunts her continually...

just got home from pc/ra summit and oh wow. i can't wait for next year. there's going to be 4 of us working together so you know our Learning community is going to rock! three girls and one guy. fun fun.. we had stuff that we had to go over and while we were talking about building emergiencies, what should happen but a fire alarm. oh that was fun. i experienced my first KC hall fire drill. more laxed than trinity ironically enough. but sadly they don't mock and joke as trinity people do. oh wells. maybe they're more sarcastic at 3 am? lol.

well it almost looks like my class will make depending on some things. all my girl spots are filled and there are still girls wanting in. so there's going to have to be some pleaing or something so that i can get them in. if that happens then it looks like the class will make! may have an all girl class but that's ok. hopefully we all won't be bitchy at the same time. i'd feel really bad if i like only have one or two guys in my class.. b/c of course, my fig coordinator is female, my faculty mentor is female, and my councilor is female. we are an estrogen fest! lol. hmm..pajama party anyone? but maybe the guys would like that? lol. room full of girls: every guy's fantacy;) haha. any way it happens i will be so proud of my class. can't wait to meet them in june!

here's to long weeks...to stress...to the world...

had a fabulous time at banquet. everyone looked great all dressed up and the decorations: awesome! it was all completely great. the slide show was sooo awesome. i know i use that word a lot but there's no other way to explain the slideshow! the pictures...the music..the videos! my fav. footage was fall camp excel. my first time with excel...that was when marykate and i first met in person...oh and darcy and i..uh yea...lol..the footage picked up a great sense of hostility we had for each other. lol..as we were watching it..we just looked at each other and started hugging. megan, you did a great job on that show.

oh and i must say that the decorations at georgie's party were so cool;) lol. fun times there of course. hello, why would there not be good and fun times at 301? well it was a great night in total. heart to hearts and just fun conversations..'are you gonna eat that broccoli?'.gotta love life. i'm still contemplating posting pictures..i don't have very many to begin with. so if i do, i'll let yal know.